Friday, November 1, 2013

One corporation's guide to being passive aggressive

Henry Ford has been famously quoted as saying about his new Model-T car, "You can have any color, as long as it's black".

Apparently, someone at Yahoo! was listening*. Their corporate policy, in regards to their free Fantasy Football app, is, "You can make any choice, as long as it's the one we want." I say this because I get two prompts whenever I open the app.

The first prompt invites me to take a survey. I mean, REALLY invites me; you can practically hear the cheerleader's voice in your head. And, as should surprise no one, I have a firm policy of never clicking on any button, link or email involving an exclamation point! Free! Boobies! Millions! No.

Guess which choice they'd like you to make.

Also--another policy**--I don't like to take surveys. Would you like to waste your time for no benefit to yourself but to help us make more money? No.

This one intrusion would be all well and good if the prompts stopped there. If, in my naivety, a corporation would actually respect its customers***. 

But like a kid eating greedy handfuls of Halloween candy, Yahoo! doesn't know when to quit. Not only do I get another prompt, cheerleader voice and all, it doesn't even matter.

No ladies. Only tigers.
Would I mind? Yes. Does clicking. "No, Thanks" work? No, because this whole mess starts up all over again, seemingly at random.

I get the irony here. It has taken me longer to write this post than it would take to fill out the survey. And by posting this I am inadvertently providing them with feedback, albeit on their survey prompts. But the difference is I chose**** to write this in my own way and on my own terms. And I got to work in the term "boobies", which wouldn't have been an option on a formal survey. Ya got that, ya marketing boobies?

*Via timemachine, duh. 
**What am I, an insurance agency???
***Corporation, from the Latin, meaning Screwus Youus.
****Psychologist could argue Yahoo! manipulated me with their incessant prompts and my choice to respond in one form or another was inevitable and therefore no choice at all