I recently joined some friends to watch a couple of NFL*
games. Last year the second batch of Sunday games started a little after the
hour, but this year I discovered that the games would be starting a half hour
later after that. Uh … okay. Four hours later I was done. Done with watching
football live. Forget it. Too many breaks, commercials, stupid delays,
annoyances and impositions on my time and patience.
Apple just rolled out the iPhone 5. It’s most dramatic
feature: a new plug hole*. Fine. The smart play would be to give consumers the
adapter for free—acknowledge that it’s an inconvenience. But, of course, Apple
is charging, yes charging, it’s customers $29 for the pleasure. It’s like Apple
is the hot, young Hollywood starlet high on cocaine*** who thinks she can run
over a person**** in a crosswalk without consequences. Something to consider
the next time you upgrade.
Along the same lines: Want access to your favorite websites
or phone apps? Better agree to the whole user agreement. Not that you have the
choice of striking out any parts (how is this a contract?). Take Facebook, for
example. When it rolled out its Timeline feature, it served it up as a choice:
“Hey, bro, check out this new Timeline feature. All of your friends are using
it, but you don’t have to if you don’t wanna.*****” So I didn’t. And then,
recently, I got Timelined******. My point: Roll it out or don’t, but don’t
pretend I have a choice (other than closing my account).
What’s my solution? It’s easy; just stop. Stop watching
football until they stop with the stupid commercial timeout after the kickoff.
Stop buying the latest Apple product as soon as it comes out. Stop clicking the
“like” button and giving Facebook tons of valuable data for free.
It may not be a perfect solution, but it’s a start.
*NFL = Not For Long
**Or iPlugHole™, if you prefer
***Cocaine = Stock Price
****Person = American consumer and/or Asian assembly line
worker
*****Not an exact quote
*****Like getting clothes-lined, but online