Monday, January 2, 2012

100 push-ups

That’s the goal. All at one time. By the end of the month.

If you were hoping that I’d resolve to be a better person or pay my taxes* or blog on the weekends: no. I’m resolving to do the equivalent of a Jersey Shore episode, without the tanning, preening or STDs**.

Because this is the Internet, I could tell you that I already have the physique of a Gold Medal Olympian*** and you would have to believe me. It’s required by law in every country****, save Latvia. But I’ll be honest: I have the physique of a Bronze Medalist.

And after eating a goodly sum of Holiday fare, this Bronze Medalist was surprised to find out that he could do a Herculean ten (10) push-ups in a row. TEN. One Zero. Whoops.

But what good is a goal without an incentive to stay focused and motivated? Actually a lot of good, but what I propose is this: I’ll donate a dollar to some charity***** for every push-up shy of 100 (100 – X = $Y) that I am on January 31st. So if I do 75 push-ups, I’ll donate $25. If I forget to do the push-ups entirely, then it’s the full $100 (yikes). If I do all 100, then I get to enjoy the satisfaction that comes with not having to donate any money.

If you want to join me, go head-to-head or just make fun of me publicly, let me know. 

If you want more info on how to do a push-up(s):

*Gotcha, IRS agents. Too easy.
**I have it on good authority that hiccups are not a disease.
***Synchronized Floating
****The International Gullibility Act of 2012
*****A real one. Probably something to do with fitness. Feel free to send suggestions.