The Tauntlet™: 13 Questions with Unsanctioned GARBAGE PARTY

I recently sat down with (emailed questions to) the creator of the just launched, but extremely funny, Unsanctioned GARBAGE PARTY (that's how it's spelled). Let's just say things got a bit "messy".

Who are you?

I’m the guy behind the Garbage Party website and Twitter page. Both just launched this week. I do all the writing, and I design everything on the site. As of today I literally have ONE follower on Twitter. I’m not gonna lie, it feels good.

Is it presumptuous to assume you have friends?

Is that what this is about?

What is your favorite catchphrase?

Whatever is just past its prime and starting to get old. That’s when I like to act as if I just found out about it.

If you could have a superpower, what would it be?

Leaving dotted lines behind me like in The Family Circus.

What is your credit card number?

Hold on…

What’s wrong with you?
I don’t think there's anything wrong, per se…but, I’ve got my issues. What you mean, specifically?

Why don’t you do something with your life?
What?! I did. I mean, I am. I thought that’s what this was about.

What is your favorite food?

I’m not sure how that’s relevant to anythi…

What is your favorite animal?

What, am I six years old?

If we had flying cars, but they were all Ford Festivas, would they still be cool?

Hell yeah! They still fly, right!

Why can’t you get anything right?
Listen, if you don't like what I do, that's one thing...But, right now you're being aggressive

Can you be any more annoying?
Yeah, I'm about to get more punch-y too.

Finish this statement: “My lover(s) knows that I ___Well, I gotta get back to work. Take care of yourself.____?”