You would think with a name like “Tad” that I wouldn’t need
a nickname. As it is, I’ve only met one other Tad and, as is the rule, I killed
him*. But, thankfully, I’ve been blessed with a bevy of sobriquets in my day:
·
Bones—Believe it or not, I was a skinny lad. So
skinny that you could see my ribs, or so my fellow classmates claimed in
elementary school
·
Taddy—One of the first to catch on and be used
affectionately
·
T-Dawg—Pretty much standard issue in the ‘90s if
your name started with a “T” and you listened to hip-hop
·
D-style—Yeah, you read that right. With a “D”,
not a “T”. My friends at the time thought to give me a nickname that had some
edge. Or something
·
Rad Tad/Tadhole—The name for my alter-ego on the
rare occasions when I’ve had waaaaaaay too much to drink
·
Senator—When I first moved to Missouri, my
friends took me to a dance club that turned out to be a strip club. I refused
to use the ATM to withdraw money because I joked that I might run for office
one day and didn’t want the transaction to show up on my bank statement
·
Tapper Tad—There used to be a bar for sale
called “Dapper Dan’s” and everyone thought it would be a great idea if I bought
it and renamed it. No one seemed to want to invest in the bar, however, so only
the nickname remains
·
Tadworth/Tadly—The supposed names I will use if
I win the Lottery and become filthy rich (see also: T-Dawg/Tadhole)
·
Tadsome—An adjective used to describe people or
objects that look like me
·
T—Used by both friends and people who want
something from me**
*There can be only one
**But they didn’t get none, son
