Tuesday, July 17, 2012

A rose by any other name ...

You would think with a name like “Tad” that I wouldn’t need a nickname. As it is, I’ve only met one other Tad and, as is the rule, I killed him*. But, thankfully, I’ve been blessed with a bevy of sobriquets in my day:
·      Bones—Believe it or not, I was a skinny lad. So skinny that you could see my ribs, or so my fellow classmates claimed in elementary school
·      Taddy—One of the first to catch on and be used affectionately
·      T-Dawg—Pretty much standard issue in the ‘90s if your name started with a “T” and you listened to hip-hop
·      D-style—Yeah, you read that right. With a “D”, not a “T”. My friends at the time thought to give me a nickname that had some edge. Or something
·      Rad Tad/Tadhole—The name for my alter-ego on the rare occasions when I’ve had waaaaaaay too much to drink
·      Senator—When I first moved to Missouri, my friends took me to a dance club that turned out to be a strip club. I refused to use the ATM to withdraw money because I joked that I might run for office one day and didn’t want the transaction to show up on my bank statement
·      Tapper Tad—There used to be a bar for sale called “Dapper Dan’s” and everyone thought it would be a great idea if I bought it and renamed it. No one seemed to want to invest in the bar, however, so only the nickname remains
·      Tadworth/Tadly—The supposed names I will use if I win the Lottery and become filthy rich (see also: T-Dawg/Tadhole)
·      Tadsome—An adjective used to describe people or objects that look like me
·      T—Used by both friends and people who want something from me**

*There can be only one
**But they didn’t get none, son